THERAPY QUEST
by kgforever22
Summary: Sasuke and Itachi are forced into therapy and have strange therapist from bleach and hellsing try to help them, but instead of acutal therapy random stuff happens.


THERAPY QUEST

By Numa Luma

_At Orochimaru's hideout_

Laura: Yo Sasuke come here!

Sasuke: Who the hell are you and what do you want? You are interrupting my training!

Laura: ON MY GRASS you are so emo! Come on you are going to get therapy whether you like it or not!

Sasuke: What...Hey let go!

Laura: XD

_Somewhere in the world_

Itachi: You can't run forever Uzumaki Naruto! Wait what's happening its dark…this cant be a genjutsu…can it?

Luma: No the power just went out )

Itachi: Who the hell are you and why are you dressed like Naruto?

Luma: The name is Luma and your going to get therapy whether you like it or not )

Itachi: Wait a minute I don't Zzzzzzzz

_In an office in an unknown building Laura and Luma tie Sasuke and Itachi to chairs and wait for their therapist to arrive. _

Laura and Luma: Well now that you guys are here time for your therapy! )

Laura: Your therapist should be here soon.

Luma: In the meantime we are going to TORTURE SASUKE! MWAHAHAHA )

Laura: Luma I thought we decided that we are going to help them so they don't kill each other NOT TORTURE them!

Luma: OK (

Sasuke: YOU! I WILL KILL YOU!!!!!

Itachi: NO you cant you LACK HATERED! _(Evil grin)_

Sasuke: I AM AN AVENGER…

_Itachi interrupts_

Itachi: Oh shut the hell up! Again and again with the avenger crap YOU LACK HATERED and you know it!

_The door opens_

Orihime: Hello ) I am your therapist. My name is Inoue Orihime. How do you do )

Sasuke: How do you think I feel!

Orihime: I don't know…

Itachi: Fine and you

Orihime: I'm good!

Luma: I think they forgot that we are here (

Laura: Oh well lets go so they can get to work. Hey where do you think Lee is?

Luma: Probably training his power of youth LOL )

L&L: BYE! ) XD

_While L&L are off looking for Lee, Sasuke and Itachi begin their therapy. (Like they have any choice XD)_

Orihime: Sooo let's start with you Sasuke. Why do you feel the way you do about your older brother?

Sasuke: He KILLED my ENTIRE CLAN how do you think I feel!

Orihime: I don't know.

Itachi: Sasuke stop being so emo and have some respect! She is trying to help us after all.

Sasuke: I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!

Orihime: Oh Sasuke just cause your brother killed your family doesn't mean you should hate him.

Sasuke: WHAT!

Orihime: Well my older brother tried to kill me but I still love him!

Sasuke: Okayyy….

Itachi: Can I speak now?

Orihime: Oh yes of course )

Itachi: I have no reason to be here. I am not the emo one who decided to join forces with a gay snake just for power. True I killed my clan but they were all emo and I just killed them before they could do it to themselves.

_Rukia comes in with her notebook and marker and L&L are still looking for Lee._

Rukia: Orihime what are you doing here? I've been looking all over for you! Who are these people and why are they tied up?

Orihime: They are my patients ) I'm trying to get them to realize that brothers should love each other instead of trying to kill each other )

Rukia: Let me help!

Orihime: OK!

_Rukia starts to draw in her notebook_

Rukia: Listen and look! Brothers are like bunnies they stick together no matter what!

Sasuke & Itachi: Those are supposed to be bunnies…

_Rukia draws on their faces. By the way L&L finally found Lee!_

Rukia: SHUT UP YOU DON'T KNOW TRUE ART!

Itachi: Oh god not another so called artist!

_BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP_

Rukia: Hello… what hallows! Were on it! Orihime we got to go Ichigo needs our help!

Orihime: Ok! Bye guys!

_Rukia and Orihime left in a rush and forgot to untie Sasuke and Itachi. Oh and Ichigo doesn't really need help Rukia just wanted an excuse to leave! L&L started to go up to random people in Konoha and hug them._

Sasuke: That's just great who is going to untie us now!

Itachi: I don't know about you but my fellow Akatsuki members are sure to be looking for me.

_At the Akatsuki hideout_

Kakuzu: WOW it's been hours and I'm still counting all the money those girls gave me ) what did they give you guys?

Hidan: They gave me this evil chemistry teacher to use in my ritual!

Laura's Chemistry teacher: PLEASE DON'T KILL ME I PROMISE TO BE NICER!!!!(

Zetsu: Hidan hurry up and kill him I'm hungry! You and those two girls promised me that I can eat him after you use him in your damn ritual!

Hidan: Ok ok! Deidara what did they give you?

Deidara: They gave me a membership pass for a year's worth of pottery classes.

Zetsu: Tobi you are such a good boy what did they give you?

Tobi: These SWEET GOGGLES!!!

Deidara: Why did they give you goggles you wear a mask?

Tobi: For old time's sake UMMMM… I mean I collect goggles YA that's it I collect!

Deidara: Okayyy…. Does anyone know where Kisame is?

Tobi: He's swimming in his brand new fish tank.

Deidara: His what?

Tobi: Laura & Luma gave him a new fish tank complete with a plasma TV and the entire Jaws collection!

_In the fish tank _

Kisame: No Chrissie don't go into the water! Tana nana nana nana nananana NAAA! I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!!!

Luma: Hey guys )

Laura: Ewwwww u stink!

Sasuke: What do you expect we've been here for two days!

Itachi: I don't understand my fellow Akatsuki members should have found me by now.

Luma: About that we kinda gave them things so they won't look for you XD

Itachi: … what ever can we leave now?

Laura: Well do you guys love each other?

Sasuke & Itachi: NO!

Luma: Well then we'd like you to meet your new therapist )

_The door opens_

Alucard: So these are the two emo brothers I have to talk to.

L&L: Hey Alucard glad u can make it! )

Laura: And don't worry will have the blood delivered to your place ASAP!

Alucard: Don't forget its two liters of blood for every thirty minutes!

L&L: Ok! BYE!

Alucard: Take your time!

_L&L left to go make a bet with Tsunade to make up for all the money they gave to Kakuzu._

Alucard: So let's get one thing straight. Get over your damn problems and when those two come back you act like we had a great session!

Itachi: Who do you think you are!

Sasuke: I'm with him on this one.

Alucard: Look your already getting along.

Sasuke: What! I hate him!

Itachi: Correction you don't hate me enough.

Sasuke: CHIDORI!!!!

Alucard: I said shut up! Or do you want me to drink all your blood?

_POOF_

Orochimaru: STOP IN THE NAME OF LOVE BEFORE YOU BREAK MY SASUKE!

Alucard: Who the hell no what the hell are you?

Orochimaru: Don't you dare! I am the only person allowed to bite Sasuke!

Alucard & Itachi: What….

Orochimaru: Isn't that right my precious.

Sasuke: Oh god not again! Your making me blush. Now hurry up and help me escape so I can kill Itachi!

Itachi: I told you once I told you a thousand times you cant kill me YOU LACK HATERED FOOLISH LITTLE BROTHER!

Alucard: Hey gay snake you are interrupting our session!

Orochimaru: But I want my Sasuke back! (

Alucard: You can have him later! If it makes you feel any better I'll have him FedEx to you just leave!

Orochimaru: Ok bye my love see you later )

Sasuke: Wait don't leave me!

Itachi: You are so pathetic!

L&L: Were back! )

Laura: So how did it go?

Alucard: Good so pay up!

Luma: We already had the blood sent to your place in fact you can have Sasuke to! )

Laura: What! No! Luma I thought we decided not to kill Sasuke!

Luma: Oh yeah! Ok never mind )

Alucard: Well bye!

Sasuke: Finally we get to leave!

Laura: So do you guys love each other?

Sasuke & Itachi: NO!

Luma: Maybe we need to lock them up in a giant sponge )

Laura: No they might kill each other.

Itachi: Has it occurred to either of you that we will always hate each other?

L&L: Maybe…..

Laura: Well then I guess you can go. Come on Luma lets leave.

Luma: Hey maybe we can get Roxas and Axel to set their relationship straight!

Laura: Maybe another time we are late for art class.

_L&L left the unknown building _

Sasuke & Itachi: HEY YOU GUYS FORGOT TO UNTIE US!!!!!

_THE END_


End file.
